Page 23 - RYAN'S GIG GUIDE NOVEMBER 2014
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RGG November 2014 - p.23
So far so normal and as is the way of all things
proper and correct In recent years however there
has been a shift in what gear musicians will pimp
themselves out for Reaching out to a much
broader audience beyond those familiar with their
music or ‘scene’ has taken several artists away
from the microphone and behind the counter of
commercial consumerism yelling out their two
forra tenner deals on deodorant and dresses hewn
by the labourers of their own East End of the
world map workhouse
The seemingly hum drum staid essentials of
lifestyle enhancing goodness in life is now a focus
of their attentions as much as what position their
latest single reaches in the charts Such re birthing
of brand ‘Star’ has seen such disparate performers
as Madonna and Gwen Stefani both have a range
of smells in quirky bottles on the shelves down the
local Boots
And regardless of merit as technically a ‘musician’
ole Posh Spice has her own fashion label asking
stupid prices for a pair of jeans beside the rails
bearing Gautier’s latest skin showing dominatrix
dress –each a match for the other’s ability to raise
eyebrows amongst the goodly folk of the world
scaring old folk and exciting the young alike
Dre has a billion dollars thanks to the sale of Beats
and if there wasn’t already a Metallica alike pair of
ear candy available then I’d be worried Lars had
had a stroke or something
Diversity is key to future success and an old age
spent in the company of some lithe young things
helping spend the mountain of money ensconced
under the mattress upstairs the days of a mug or
beanie bearing your moniker being enough to raise
your status amongst the ordinary folk long since
turned to a bag of dusty Werther’s
Sneakers by Kanye via Adidas and street wear by
Pharrell; get MADE by the Madden brothers of
Good Charllotte fame or pop into Moby’s tea shop
for a cuppa and some quiet refrain
Even God’s own second son Bono has his hand in
more pies than a mescaline enraged Jack Horner;
hotels investments a business dealing with the
to ings and fro ings of intellectual property rights
and – yes – even a high street range of ready to
wear garb wherein monies raised go to help jobs
and money for the poor and needy of Arica
So when even he who would be Jesus if the Edge
didn’t keep him in check is turning up in trademark
sunnies and business suit to match clutching a
bespoke portfolio of albums and acquisitions and
speaking of the tongue known as business and
projections it’s surely only a matter of time before
I’m stood in line ordering the Red Hot Chilli Pepper
Sauce as the covering to be exotically drizzled atop
the MeatLoaf Mac Artery Annihilator n’ Fries
combo platter and Fluer East McFlurry to follow
With a Diet Kroeger Coke no ice
I SOLD MY SOUL...
FOR ROCK N’ ROLL - ON DEODORANT
