Page 22 - RYAN'S GIG GUIDE NOVEMBER 2014

ROBERT BAKER
RGG November 2014 - p.22
OUT OF THE MIDLANDS
From the outside Japan is the real world Wonka
Factory of unimaginable delight and wide eyed
wonder; the promise that whatever your darkest
most fearful desires and fandom can think of are
to be found within the many store fronts and
shops clogging its cities many arteries and
alleyways all gaily bedecked with strings of lights
and flashing neon adverts showing impossibly
happy faces and unfathomable text
Much like the Costner quote of old ‘if you build it
they will come’ someone somewhere thought
building an entrance to the imaginations of a
whimsy addled on smack selling cheaply made yet
highly prized trinkets and trappings of shiny things
and wonder would be a genius piece of fiscal
encouragement to a country almost wiped off the
map by one world war and two huge bombs
And as millions of tourists indulge in a little Being
John Malkovich and experiencing the world
through completely different eyes for a fortnight
each year clearly there’s some truth in the
Kevinism from the inside it’s like watching
children see snow for the first time; a moment of
mild confusion at what the hell happened to the
jungle gym and swings before disappearing in a
cloud of delighted screams straight into the
nearest thrift store
As well as the seemingly unfettered boundaries of
scope and wanton weird a nation is truly capable
of when holding the best Get Out Of Jail Card in
history ever there is a weird dichotomy to the
digital dystopia and Hello Kitty sanitary towels
Finding out your ‘Flexible Friend’ is welcomed
practically nowhere that requires payment for
services or goods fair makes the foreigner scratch
their heard in bemused frustrations; and learning
how fax machines are not just common but
essential if one is to have any success talking to the
bank manager about why all the cash machines
stop dispending money after night falls and the
nightclubs kick out and the taxi driver refuses to
accept half a bottle of Saki and an inflatable
schoolgirl as payment is an experience in itself
But at its heart Japan is a thriving industry of
providing the world with some of the most
inventive and unusual objects of desire Be it
Name Company or Latest Hollywood CGi athon
there is a something you can buy with a tag line
slapped all over it purpose built for gathering dust
on the mantelpiece back home
Once back in Blighty and re acclimatised to the
beige and rain a quick glance about the high street
will feel more akin to a flashback from all that
cheap acid we took in the seventies allegedly
Musicians savvy to the whims and what not of
their fans are quick to the printers and off to the
factory of merchandise makers lining the shelves
with trinkets and T shirts; wallets bearing chains
and wrist straps of Name badges and posters and
pictures to frame Beanies and books and bits and
bobs this and that and odds n’ sods