RGG December 2014 - p.7
@weak13
@nickjtownsend
by shit like
Guitar Hero
that you've put your
name to and confidence destroying TV shows
like
American Idol
that you've mentored for You
know what? He's correct For starters having
Nicole Scherzinger the lead singer of the Pussy
Cat Dolls on his solo album was a gigantic risk
Was it a risk having parents who were buddies
with Mr Geffen who owned Geffen Records who
signed Guns n' Roses? Yeah that wasn't a risk I
hear you say but perhaps Slash's mom sucking
David Bowie's cock may have been a risk?
Having Major Tom for a dad for a few years
wasn't exactly
not playing it safe
either Having
a stage name that's slang for taking a reckless
piss is a risk I suppose but I'm going to take on
board and act on Slash's advice and risk calling
him a massive cunt; that's bound to help my
career because Slash said so
Nobody's perfect especially me Just ask
amateur media student @TomCountercult who
pointed out and tweeted to his loyal followers
on Twitter that I spelt a band's name incorrectly
twice in my column last month Speaking as a
popular self taught columnist with genuine
symptoms of dyslexia it's a real honour that only
the spelling of my work was criticised and not
the content Go fcuk yourself and have a Merry
Christmas
I checked the official charts company website
on November nd and scanned the UK Top
which looked more like a list of boring statistics
than a chart The boy with the voice of a
hemorrhoid suffering elderly man George Ezra
had two different singles at No and No
former One Direction bukkake cum shower girl
Taylor Swift had both the No and No slot
Gollum look a like Sam Smith had three tunes
that reached No No and No ; is that
news? Is that an achievement these days having
three singles in the top or are so few people
buying singles that record companies are
lobbing multiple amounts of the same shit into
the charts? Nobody cares anymore to notice
right? Twenty years ago if an artist got three
singles in the top
they would have made
headlines but it's so frequently occurring now
that it's not an achievement anymore
Our music industry appeared to make more
sense before the death of the cassette tape
Talking of death; some sad news now as music
legend Jack Bruce the former frontman of
Cream joins Peaches Geldoff in the afterlife and
Earth mourns the loss of the musician who
formed one of the greatest British rock bands
ever I noticed Simon Cowell hasn't made a
tribute maybe because Jack declared during an
interview with Uncut magazine in
that
Cowell should be exterminated; and although
he said it three years ago I think it still counts
as a dying request Perhaps all the bands of
today should honour the Cream bassists
suggestion? Despite his life's work he had to
watch the industry plummet during his final
years descending into a Saturday Night karaoke
slaughterhouse Yet he still wasn't afraid to
speak his mind about the diabolical state of the
music scene and the role Simon Cowell has
played in its dumbing down However other
music legends take the easy option and just
blame the youth of today rather than the
megalomaniacs in charge
Former Guns n' Roses guitarist Slash made quite
a statement recently in a national newspaper
and suggested that today's bands don't take
enough risks Really Slash? That's quite insulting
to all those going against the grain writing
original songs in a music world that's polluted
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